Honk If You Hear Me: Mike Vick's Dog Toy

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Mike Vick's Dog Toy

Ron Mexico, AKA Mike Vick has diversified his portfolio with this new dog chew toy. For $7.99 now your dog can take a bite out of Vick. This tiny toy will be the hit of your next dog fight (stop the fight....Tamale). Only in America! Why didn't I think of this??

By the way, it's bullshit that the NFL (No Fun League) no longer allows you to customize a jersey. I would have an ATL Vick jersey with Mexico on the back.

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Honktionary

"Like a midget at a urinal, you're gonna have to stay on your toes"
Cincinnati Bengal: good uniform, terrible helmet. Ex. That girl is a cincinnati bengal.
Cougar: a single attractive female between 30-40 years old, who prefers younger men.
Crazy as a Shit house rat: Phrase used to describe someone who is mentally unstable. Ex. Jim is out of his mind, he's as crazy as a shit house rat.
Irish Alzheimers: Forget everything except the grudges.
Irish Exit: leaving a social setting without properly saying goodbye.
Meathooks: term used to refer to someone with abnormally large and or fat hands or fingers.
Milk & Honey: used to refer to something as sweet, awesome, or generally enjoyable. Ex. That ballgame was milk and honey.
Panther: a single attractive female between 40-50 years old, who prefers younger men.
Scare a hungry dog off a meatwagon: Phrase used when describing an atrocious looking person. Ex. She's so ugly she could scare a hungry dog off a meatwagon."
Silverback: a single attractive female over 60 years old, who prefers younger men.
Squatter: someone is always at one particular place, but doesn't actually contribute to that particular place. Ex. Bob Wiley has been squatting at your apartment for 3 weeks now.
Throw nickels around like manhole covers: Phrase used to exude complete cheapness. Ex. Don throws nickels around like manhole covers, that's why he still has his first communion money.
Wavey: smell to the point of pure disgust. Ex. Oh my god who farted? That's some wavey shit.

Blow It Out Your Ass! (Weekly Rant)

How come if you habitually clean your ears you end up going deaf?
What's the bathroom etiquette at work? If I don't normally talk to you, why would I talk you when I'm doing my business?
When an MLB game goes to extra innings, the stadium should re-open beer sales.
Why do people feel they need make out and grope in public? Get a room!
Why do people refuse to flush public toilets? How hard is it? Seriously!
Why do hillbilly's feel they should pass their inbreeding and utter trash onto to their kin?