Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question

This is unreal. Listen to this geniuses response to why people can't find the United States on a map. I'd like to see this Magellan point to the U.S. on a map.

It's a good thing she is hot, otherwise she wouldn't be able to make it through life. She finished 4th place in the Miss Teen USA. I foresee a college scholarship in her future.

Human Tetris

This video is funny and keeps with the Tetris theme. Those crazy Japanese are at it again. This could be the best game show going--Human Tetris. The Japanese will do anything.


"God damn those half Japanese girls, do it to me every time"

Best Game Ever

If your bored at work and you enjoy Tetris, you'll love this game. It's bizarro Tetris. When you close your eyes at night you'll see Tetris lines.

Denis Leary

This is classic video of Denis Leary. He's in the booth during a Red Sox game last year with his Uncle Teddy from Rescue Me. He rips on Mel Gibson for being a bigot. I'm surprised Leary isn't smoking a cigarette. Leary is the man. The only thing that pisses me off about Leary is the fact that he spells his name with only 1 'n'. What kind of asshole spells his name like that. He always busts chops about how people today aren't your prototypical old-school American male. Guess what, maybe if you correctly spelled your name you wouldn't be such a hater.


"I like football, porno, and books about war" -Asshole

Celebrity Buttplugs

With Christmas just around the corner check out these new products--it's the gift that keeps on giving:

Now you can stick George W. Bush up your butt.


Celebrity Buttplugs have the likeness of famous people. Thus far, they have...

* George W. Tush

* Smell Gibson (Braveheart Edition)

* Parass Hilton

* Dingleberry Bonds

They'll also make a"custom buttplug" for you, if you send them a close-up photo of someone, perhaps yourself, your ex, or whatever turns you on.

Soon to be available is an "expander" for the Dubya model that squeezes air into his head, expanding his ego, and increasing your pleasure.

Visit Celebrity Buttplugs at: www.celebritybuttplugs.com

NFL Fantasy Files Marques Colston -Real or Faked?

The jury is still out on this video. I don't think is real, but it's pretty awesome. I wonder if Colston will qualify as a Tight End this year in fantasy.

NFL Fantasy File: Marc Bulger

This video is funny. What did people do before fantasy football? There is a ton of money associated with fantasy sports. It cost me $8 bucks for a fantasy football magazine.

Midget Bullfighting

This is video of your typical day at the rodeo. A midget decides to conquer a bull and discovers his nubby little hands and feet are not quick enough.

Gay-Rod

Alex Rodriguez is shown here celebrating the youngest player to reach 500 home runs. Those are some super special colors, which I'm sure Gay-rod himself picked. I think this is the exact reason why Yankee fans give him so much shit. They know the one-time Menudo star is an amazing baseball player, but he putts from the rough.

Living la vida loco with Ricky Martin!

The female Peter Griffin

Yikes!! Looks like a female Peter Griffin from Family Guy. It looks like she kicks ass like Jason Bourne. Oh, check out the meathooks on her, she could destroy some lobster. When she cracks her knuckles, children take cover.

Mike Vick's Dog Toy

Ron Mexico, AKA Mike Vick has diversified his portfolio with this new dog chew toy. For $7.99 now your dog can take a bite out of Vick. This tiny toy will be the hit of your next dog fight (stop the fight....Tamale). Only in America! Why didn't I think of this??

By the way, it's bullshit that the NFL (No Fun League) no longer allows you to customize a jersey. I would have an ATL Vick jersey with Mexico on the back.

Attention Scumbags, Shitheads, & Degenerates

Calling all degenerate losers, now is the time! Get your books, sheets, tapes and phones in order. Give Mario the bookie a call or log onto your favorite online site--it's NFL pre-season time. It's the time where you can really make out and finally stick it to your bookie. All those times Martin Grammatica missed an extra point or Derrick Brooks pulls a pick 6 in the 4th quarter to blow the spread. Now you can place your faith in a bunch of scrubs, who are trying to live the dream but should be parking cars at the stadium.

It's so logical, Seahawks are playing the Vikings on Thursday night, Seattle is getting 7 points at home...."win me my fucking money!" The Seahawks have this 3rd string QB from Mississippi Valley State, who no one has ever heard of, besides maybe Mel "I know everything" Kiper, who can throw the ball 60 yards from his knees. You throw down a yard on the Seahawks getting 7. Not knowing your stud 3rd string QB, is not quite the stud with the ladies. He just caught a case of crabs from some skank who messed around with Ron Mexico(Mike Vick). Weird?!?! Vikings 30 Seahawks 17. It so it begins, the football betting season. Always chasing it.

Good luck to all of you! I'll be constantly entertained by your theories, strategies, and systems.

Bronco's at home with the mile high air...it's a lock!